Goi's Fitness Forum

ive estimatedly finished 5 loaves of bread between yesterday and today for supper alone.

awesome. keep it up!

In other news: Water is wet.

galapogos wrote:In other news: Water is wet.

no, water is chuck norrised.

CHUCK NORRIS IS STRONGER THAN SUPERMAN, BUT PAVEL IS STRONGER THAN CHUCK

Jack Bauer pwns them all

Chuck norris is able to create an atlas stone so fucking heavy he himself cant lift it, but he'll lift it anyway to show that he is not to be messed with.

He also secretly have sex with woman all over the world every month and do it so hard that they bleed for a week.

you are all liars. Pavel's the man, heres what he can do.

The Soviet Union called it quits after Pavel left them, they figured they were useless without him.

Pavel's Gymboss timer does not beep. It simply thanks him when his set is over. No one tells Pavel when to start or stop.

Kids wear Superman underwear, Superman wears Chuck Norris underwear, and Chuck Norris wears Pavel underwear.

Pavel is the fist in Chuck Norris' beard.

when pavel does one arm one leg pushups he isn't pushing himself up hes pushing the earth down

pavel was in a staring contest with the sun while doing a turkish getup...and won

Isaac Newtons theories are being re looked at thanks to Pavel and I hear that Pavel once did so many swings that he stopped time.

Pavel got a perfect score on his SAT's, simply by writing Pavel for every answer.

A Handicapped parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Pavel and that you will be handicapped if you park there.

When Pavel sneeze, he don't say "Atchoo" he says "DIE EVERYONE!!!". That's what happens next.

When Pavel originally devised the 'Beast Challenge' it was based upon his experience fighting Grizzly Bears, Alligators, and Bald Eagles (in flight) with his bare hands. He downgraded it to a 48 kg. pistol, press, and pull up to spare us.

I hear Pavel wrote Enter the Kettlebell one afternoon as he ate his filet of orphan sandwich.

Pavel's chest hair is made of steel wool.

I hear Pavel likes his ice cubes like he likes his skulls. Crushed.

A lot of people debate whether there is such a thing as a soul. Well it does exist. And Pavel thinks it's delicious.

When Pavel orders a steak at a restaurant, it follows those orders to the letter.

Pavel's such a badass he can punch a ten dollar bill until it turns into forty quarters. Then he uses those for gambling.

Pavel can jumpstart a car by attaching jumpercables to his nipples...or rather as close as he can get through his chest hair.

Pavel once beat Stevie Wonder in a staring contest.

Pavel once did a pistol in his sleep and accidentally kicked three coeds out a window.

Pavel once stared at an orange juice container because it said "concentrate". It started boiling.

Some people smoke after sex. Pavel sneaks off into the night to brand a kettlebell onto a criminals face.

Pavel once made a belt out of three crackheads. Their lives are more useful now.

Master Pavel, in fact, doesn't use his mighty muscles to hoist, grind, pull and press.
He tells the bell where to go, and there it goes.

Pavel once bench pressed Chuck Norris. Chuck weighs 190, the beard is 500 lbs. That's why Chuck's neck is so strong.

Pavel's tears can cure cancer. Too bad he never cried.

All true stories.

on the other hand, lol thats alot of bread kc hahaha welldone!

Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands.

Some kids piss their name in the snow. Chuck Norris can piss his name into concrete.

Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Chuck Norris can kill 100 percent of whatever the fuck he wants.

Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

Chuck Norris can speak braille.

Once, while having sex in a tractor-trailer, part of Chuck Norris' sperm escaped and got into the engine. We now know this truck as Optimus Prime.

Chuck Norris doesn't cheat death. He wins fair and square.

Chuck Norris puts the "laughter" in "manslaughter".

Chuck Norris once won a game of Connect Four in 3 moves.

On a high school math test, Chuck Norris put down "Violence" as every one of the answers. He got an A+ on the test because Chuck Norris solves all his problems with Violence.

Chuck Norris can delete the Recycling Bin.

Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.

If you spell Chuck Norris wrong on Google it doesn't say, "Did you mean Chuck Norris?" It simply replies, "Run while you still have the chance."

Once a cobra bit Chuck Norris' leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.

Chuck Norris died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him.

Chuck Norris was originally cast as the main character in 24, but was replaced by the producers when he managed to kill every terrorist and save the day in 12 minutes and 37 seconds.

Chuck Norris can slam revolving doors.

Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies the possibility of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.

If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, and feels like chicken but Chuck Norris says its beef, then it's fucking beef.

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris can have both feet on the ground and kick ass at the same time.

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

When Chuck Norris gives you the finger, he's telling you how many seconds you have left to live.

Chuck Norris' dog is trained to pick up his own poop because Chuck Norris will not take shit from anyone.

Chuck Norris was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.

Chuck Norris doesn't have hair on his testicles, because hair does not grow on steel.

If you play Led Zeppelin's "Stairway to Heaven" backwards, you will hear Chuck Norris banging your sister. Even if you don't have one.

Death once had a near-Chuck-Norris experience.

Bill Gates lives in constant fear that Chuck Norris' PC will crash.

Chuck Norris is the only person on the planet that can kick you in the back of the face. Chuck Norris is always on top during sex because Chuck Norris never fucks up.

Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone.

Chuck Norris can play the violin with a piano

Ghosts are actually caused by Chuck Norris killing people faster than Death can process them.
The best part of waking up is not Folgers in your cup, but knowing that Chuck Norris didn't kill you in your sleep.

Chuck Norris can squeeze orange juice out of a lemon

Chuck Norris never retreats, he just attacks in the opposite direction.

Chuck Norris eats the core of an apple first.